Pulling a Ginsberg?

Shortly after moving to San Francisco, I went to the Beat Museum, and then to City Lights, where I bought The Dharma Bums, Naked Lunch, and Howl and Other Poems. I liked The Dharma Bums, but I didn't find it particularly earthshaking. I only got through the first third of Naked Lunch before giving up in disgust. But "Howl" resonated quite a bit.

So when I heard that there was going to be a movie about "Howl," I was excited. And when I discovered that there would be a special screening at the Sundance Kabuki Cinema here in San Francisco, followed by a Q&A with the filmmakers, I bought tickets immediately.

Ed and I saw the movie last night, and we both enjoyed it very much. It is not a traditional feature film nor a documentary, and some might be underwhelmed by the unusual juxtaposition of courtroom drama, direct narration pulled from interviews, a reading of the poem itself, and animated sequences. But it worked for me. I wished there had been more hand-drawn animation and less computer animation, but I understand that that would have been prohibitively expensive and time-consuming. It would have been nice if the computer animation could have at least been made to resemble traditional animation more, because I found certain parts of the animated sequences too cold and slick. But that is my only complaint. James Franco is obviously much too attractive to portray Allen Ginsberg convincingly, but he managed to be the perfect movie star version of Ginsberg. And while I'm on the subject, I'll say that I find Jon Hamm far more attractive when he's portraying a lawyer defending artistic freedom than a womanizing advertising executive. Anyway, the movie is good, I liked it and recommend it.

But also, I'd like to share some facts about Allen Ginsberg's life. He graduated from Columbia with a BA in literature, and then lived in Manhattan for a little while before getting arrested as an accessory to crimes that his friends had committed. Instead of jail, he was sent to a psychiatric institute, and when he got out, he moved back into his father's house in New Jersey for a while. Then he moved to San Francisco. He had a nice apartment in Nob Hill and a job doing market research. He was gratified to find that he could handle a nine to five office job, but he felt stifled and creatively blocked. He was miserable and began seeing a therapist, who asked him what he wanted to do. He told his therapist that he wanted to quit his job, get rid of his nice apartment in Nob Hill, and just move into a small apartment with his boyfriend and write and read and fuck and smoke pot and just do whatever he wanted. So his therapist said, "Why don't you do it, then?" So that's what Ginsberg did, he quit his job and moved into a one room apartment with his boyfriend, and that's when he wrote "Howl."

Now, if you'll indulge me, (and if you're not willing to indulge me, maybe you shouldn't read my indulgent blog where I write about myself all the time) I'd like to share some facts about my life. I graduated from Middlebury with a BA in English, and then lived in Manhattan for a few months. (I lived at 208 East 7th Street. Later in his life, Allen Ginsberg lived at 206 East 7th Street.) But I couldn't find a job and I was very lonely, so I moved back into my parents' house in New Jersey for a while. Then I moved to San Francisco, to be with Ed. We lived near Alamo Square at first, and then we moved into a nice apartment in the Marina. I did an account management internship at an advertising agency, and then I worked as a content producer for a website, reviewing various internet services. I was gratified to find that I could handle a nine to five office job, but I felt stifled and creatively blocked and lately, I have been kind of miserable. So Ed and I moved out of the Marina and into a studio apartment, and I quit my job.

Today was my last day. Now I am going to take some time off to read and write and just do whatever I want.

My sister went to see Snooki!

Oh, yeah, also, over the weekend my sister went to see Snooki and get her autograph. Unfortunately, she got there too late to get a picture with her, or to get me a personalized autograph. (Sigh.) But she did get some pictures of Snooki dancing in the bed of a pickup truck, and she wrote about it on her blog.

Dining in the dark.

On Friday, Ed and I "dined in the dark" at Opaque. My best friend Jess went to the Opaque in Los Angeles and raved about the experience, so when Groupon's deal of the day was 50% off dinner for two at the one here in San Francisco, I figured it was the perfect opportunity to try it.

As the reviews accurately reflect, the food at Opaque is not amazing. It isn't bad at all, it's just simple and basic and nothing special, especially considering the price. There's a choice of two salads, then either chicken, fish, beef, or pasta, and a choice of two desserts. If we hadn't gotten the 50% discount this might have bothered me more. But the experience is so cool, I think it's probably worth the full price even though the food is just adequate.

The restaurant is literally pitch black. I was prepared for this, but I guess Ed didn't realize that we would be completely blind for the duration of the meal, so he was considerably more disoriented. But personally, I loved it, and actually found it pretty easy to adjust. I think that it was easier for me because I used to be very into theater, and so I've done a lot of acting exercises that involve visualizing things that aren't there. And just in general, I spend a lot of time in my own imagination, so it wasn't uncomfortable for me to be forced to imagine my surroundings. Ed suggested that maybe this is why I prefer to keep the lights dim in our apartment at night, while he tends to keep more lights turned on, which makes sense. The downside to that is that I guess I am pretty tuned into my other senses normally, so I didn't experience the dramatic heightening of sensation that Ed did. The wine did taste wonderful, but I think that's mostly because Ed surprised me with a particularly nice bottle.

There are other restaurants that try to replicate the "dining in the dark" experience with blindfolds, but for me, the darkness itself was the essential element. It felt so tangible and velvety, like we had been dipped into a dreamworld. I found it surreal and stimulating and exciting, which is how I feel about almost anything that causes you to perceive the world in a completely new and different way than you are used to. It definitely reminded me of dreaming, but also of "flavor tripping." (When we moved into our last apartment in the Marina, we had a housewarming party, and at the party we had miracle fruit, or Synsepalum dulcificum, which are berries that make other foods taste sweet for the next hour or two. So everyone eats one berry and then tries various foods and excitedly discusses how crazy everything tastes.)

I loved the way that the darkness wraps you up like a blanket, hiding you from everyone and hiding everyone from you. I also enjoyed eavesdropping on other peoples' conversations. There was a couple sitting very close to us who seemed to be having a very awkward second or third date. The man had a thick European accent that I couldn't quite place, and he was being fairly rude to his date, who was having more trouble functioning in the dark. They were pretty entertaining. But of course, I was very aware that other people could easily eavesdrop on our conversation, so I felt compelled to speak as quietly as possible and to hush Ed when he raised his voice. And of course the main thing I wanted to talk about was blindness, and what it would be like to be blind, but the waitstaff are all blind and for all you know they could be standing right next to you the whole time, so it's this constant struggle to not say anything that could potentially be deemed insensitive.

I think it would be good for society if people were occasionally deprived of one sense at a time. It would keep us from feeling too powerful.

I'd want to go back to Opaque if the food were better. According to Jess, the food at the one in Los Angeles is similar. I looked at reviews of a restaurant in Paris that also serves food in the dark, but it sounds like even there the food is lackluster. I so wish there was a restaurant like this with really great food, and a more extensive menu. If such a place existed, I would go as frequently as I could afford to.

Go away, spambots!

Leave my blog alone! I'm tired of getting ten spam comments for every real comment, and I delete all the spam immediately, anyway. Go bother someone who gets more than fifteen visitors in a day.

This is a very sad picture.

I quit.

I feel like the word "quit" has an abrupt and forceful connotation that's kind of outdated in most contemporary quitting scenarios. But I guess it is technically correct to say that I quit my job today? "I gave my two weeks notice" sounds so anticlimactic. And "I gave my two weeks plus two additional days notice" sounds even more anticlimactic.

Anyway. As of February 1st, my official job title will be Trophy Girlfriend/Starving Artist. For a few months, my time will be spent reading, writing, and doing yoga. After that...who knows? A talent agent once suggested that I could potentially make a living as a foot model, so there's always that.

This is what I think of the Jersey Shore cast.

I adore Snooki. Sometimes I worry that she's beginning to grate, but she wins me back over almost immediately. I do wish she would allow herself to be groomed more flatteringly.

At first, I found The Situation amusing and even slightly charming, but he has gradually revealed himself to be a deeply tragic figure, which was an interesting development, but it's becoming a downer.

Ronnie is extremely sensitive, extremely shallow, and extremely silly, which turns out to be an endearing combination.

Sammi is an hysterical drama queen who tries very hard to come across as sweet and laid back.

JWOWW is basically awesome, but it's a confusing, slightly uncomfortable kind of awesome.

DJ Pauly D looks like such a tool at first glance, but upon closer examination, he's funny and charismatic in an authentic sort of way. That kid's going places, mark my words.

Vinny is too much of a normal human being to be a good television character, but he does occasionally contribute unexpectedly entertaining commentary.

Angelina has an appallingly inflated opinion of herself, and would not tolerate having her delusions challenged.