Wednesday, February 24, 2010

I'm probably judging you.

I'm pretty judgmental, I think. Here are some ways that I judge people, roughly in order of importance:

  1. Do you smell bad?
  2. Are you rude or inconsiderate?
  3. Are you overbearing?
  4. Are you arrogant or egotistical?
  5. Do you chew loudly, or with your mouth open?
  6. Are you wearing unflattering shoes?
  7. Do your posture or mannerisms cause you to invade my personal space?
  8. Do you carry yourself as though in a position of power?
  9. Do you lack self-awareness?
  10. Are you smart?
  11. Are you smug?
  12. Do you have interesting things to say?
  13. Do you actively listen to other people, or do you prefer to hear yourself talk? Do you play with your phone while others are speaking to you?
  14. Are you fixed and rigid in your opinions?
  15. Are you a Republican?
  16. Are you conservative?
  17. Do you like Lost? If not, do you actively dislike it, or have you just never watched it? Or are you a lapsed Lost fan?
  18. Are you good at banter and/or picking up on sarcasm? Can you distinguish between sarcasm, sincerity, and facetiousness?
  19. Do you enjoy making cynical, negative, dismissive comments about hipsters, hippies, Twitter, bikes, or Lady Gaga?
  20. Do you read?
  21. Do you like animals?
  22. Do we have similar taste in movies or television?
  23. Are you empathetic?
  24. Do you seem to harbor any biases against predefined groups of people?
  25. Are you tense or high-strung, or do you have a relaxed, comforting presence?
  26. Do you smoke weed?
  27. Do you disapprove of drugs in general? Do you support legalization?
  28. Are you outdoorsy?
  29. Are you boring?
  30. Do you drink? What kind of drinker are you?
  31. Do you "work out" regularly?
  32. Are you fun?
  33. Are you a "foodie" and/or do you enjoy wine tasting? What about cheese?
  34. Are you religious? If so, how religious?
  35. Is your vocabulary noticeably limited?
  36. Do you tend to take things/people for granted?
  37. Do you drive frequently, even when other forms of transportation are readily available?
  38. Is your vehicle large or ostentatious?
  39. Do you appreciate art?
  40. What about tasteful design? Do you have a developed aesthetic sensibility, particularly with regards to fashion and home decor?
  41. Do you endeavor to present yourself in a contrived manner?
  42. Do you enjoy whimsy?
  43. Is your lifestyle more indulgent or ascetic?
  44. Do you use, or at least attempt to use, correct spelling and punctuation in your online communications? What about capitalization? How do you feel about the Oxford comma?
  45. Do you prefer to text message or talk on the phone?
  46. Do you litter?
  47. Do you routinely disparage or condescend to others in order to cultivate a sense of your own superiority?
  48. Are you thoughtful?
  49. Are you unusually sheltered for your age?
  50. Which is more important to you, being nice or being honest?

2 comments:

Swifter said...

I wanna be judged by you,
By you and nobody else but you.
I wanna be judged by you...alone...
Boop boop be do!

Emerald said...

For me, egotism is something to be taken into consideration with people. I'd want to debate with someone who's ego matched my own.