Feuds and things.

Mary-Kate Olsen vs. Spencer Pratt... Mary-Kate is adorable and eminently likable and I really like her style. Spencer Pratt is repulsive scum. Duh.

Courtney Love vs. Ryan Adams... I believe Courtney. Not the "scrounging to feed my child" hyperbole, obviously, but everything else.

Barack Obama vs. John McCain... Obama. Obviously. Since John McCain hates women and doesn't understand what computers or condoms are for.

Lauren Conrad vs. Heidi Montag... Lauren Conrad has her faults, to be sure, but I find her very sympathetic. Although I truly am rooting for Heidi to stumble upon some self-awareness one day, unlikely as that may be.

Angelina Jolie vs. Jennifer Aniston... Everything about Angelina Jolie just inexplicably irks me. I am not feeling her whole vibe. Not one bit. And Jennifer Aniston just seems like someone who deserves a happily ever after already.

Fox News vs. Everyone, everywhere, ever... Um, not Fox News. Obviously.