The Hills season four premier was good, I guess.

So Monday night's episode was pretty good, I guess. It was very eventful. New characters and lots of new drama. It seems like they should have plenty to work with during the new season. But for some reason, I just can't get excited about it. I think maybe there was a little bit too much going on. I don't watch The Hills for the drama, I watch it for the poignant, truthful moments between the drama. And I wasn't feeling a lot of truthful moments during this episode. I'm a little concerned that the producers are going to try too hard to make things exciting, and it's going to ruin what I love about the show. But we'll see.

I'm sad about Lo being such a bitchface. I can't believe that her mean girl antics have forced me to sympathize with Audrina. I was so nervous when Lo walked into Audrina's guest house. That confrontation seemed awfully staged, and yet at the same time it was so reminiscent of the mean girl showdowns that occurred all too often back in middle school. You know, the ones that pretty much scar you for life? That scene was like a nightmare middle school flashback, and I did not enjoy it. But as the scene went on and I got over my fierce urge to smack Lo in her bitchface, I had to laugh at the hilariously convoluted syntax both Lo and Audrina were using in order to make bitchy comments without actually owning the bitchiness. The passive voice has never been so amusing. It was like this lyrical dance of backwards sentence structure, where they were calling each other out but making sure that none of their sentences actually had subjects. And as awkward and ridiculous as that was, it also felt realistic and familiar. That is how mean girl showdowns go down sometimes, where both girls try to couch their bitchiness in fake niceness, and it's kind of funny because it's so transparent and futile. So that redeemed an otherwise awful scene for me.

The other thing I found sort of interesting was the extent to which Spencer has embraced his role as the antagonist. Obviously all of the Heidi and Spencer bickering is very fake, but at the same time, Spencer really seems to relish his awfulness. When Heidi asked Spencer to be nice to her sister Holly and Spencer replied, "That's my middle name," and smirked at her, he was clearly intentionally playing up his evilness. But he seems to get so much pleasure out of that, which makes him even more detestable. Most antagonists are just misguided or they have goals that are at odds with the goals of the protagonist. But Spencer just loves to make other people uncomfortable and unhappy, for no reason whatsoever. It gives me shivers.

Let's see...other thoughts on the episode...

Doug seems creepy, but I think he's just uncomfortable on camera. I have a hunch that once he gets used to the camera, he'll just be boring. Also, I think it's extremely unattractive and unflattering when guys wear basketball jerseys as regular shirts.

Thank God, Lauren is finally starting to notice that Lo is acting like a heinous bitch.

I really hope that when Audrina moves out, Holly will move in. That will set the groundwork for some hilarious altercations. Also, ew to Holly's new extensions. I am utterly repulsed by the existence of extensions now. Ugly fake hair is the nastiest and most unnecessary thing ever.

All right, I think that's all I have to say about the season premier. I'm going to try to stay optimistic about the rest of the season. That preview image of Lauren with black mascara tears running down her face gives me hope that things will go in a more poignant direction.