California is silly.

I have been living in San Francisco for ten and a half months now, and I still cannot get over the fact that the National Weather Service issues an alert every time it is slightly cooler or warmer than usual, and every time it rains. I go to check the temperature and I see "Severe Weather Alerts for San Francisco" in bright orange, and I'm like, "What the fuck?" After four years in Vermont, when I see a severe weather alert I'm expecting, like, three feet of snow or a -40 degree windchill. So I click on it, all perplexed, and I see something like this:

... POSSIBLE RECORD BREAKING TEMPERATURES ON TAP FOR THE SAN FRANCISCO AND MONTEREY BAY AREAS THROUGH SATURDAY...

THE COMBINATION OF STRONG HIGH PRESSURE ALOFT AND OFFSHORE FLOW WILL USHER IN VERY WARM TEMPERATURES ACROSS THE FORECAST AREA FRIDAY AND SATURDAY. MAXIMUM TEMPERATURES MAY APPROACH RECORD LEVELS IN SEVERAL LOCATIONS OF THE FORECAST AREA FRIDAY AND SATURDAY. HIGH TEMPERATURES COULD REACH THE UPPER 70S TO MIDDLE 80S... EVEN ALONG THE COAST. THESE TEMPERATURES ARE 10 TO 20 DEGREES ABOVE NORMAL FOR MID NOVEMBER. TEMPERATURES WILL BEGIN TO COOL ON SUNDAY AS HIGH PRESSURE WEAKENS AND A SEA BREEZE DEVELOPS.

PEOPLE PLANNING OUTDOOR ACTIVITIES THROUGH THE WEEKEND SHOULD TAKE INTO CONSIDERATION THE VERY WARM TEMPERATURES AND ADJUST ACTIVITIES ACCORDINGLY. WEAR LOOSE FITTING LIGHT WEIGHT CLOTHING AND DRINK PLENTY OF WATER. TAKE ADVANTAGE OF SHADE AND AIR CONDITIONING IF AVAILABLE.

NEVER LEAVE CHILDREN... THE ELDERLY OR PETS IN ENCLOSED AUTOMOBILES... EVEN FOR THE SHORTEST TIME. TEMPERATURES CAN QUICKLY RISE TO LIFE-THREATENING LEVELS... EVEN IF THE WINDOWS ARE PARTIALLY OPENED.

And then I feel compelled to make a dramatic announcement to my coworkers: "Ahem, ahem. You guys, I just want to let you know that there's a SEVERE WEATHER ALERT. High temperatures could reach 85 degrees this weekend...EVEN ALONG THE COAST. So be careful out there!"